What Do You Do for a Living?

[SnakeEyez]

Inspired by a recent discussion in the "What Else? Everything Else!" thread, I figured I'd make a thread for it so everyone can talk about their jobs more in-depth.

Simply put, where do you work? What is your occupation? How do you make money? Use this thread to tell Foxkei about your job. If you get a new job, tell everyone about it here. If you hate your job and just want to vent about it, this would be a good place to do so.

I'll start. What do I do for a living? I am a website copywriter for Web.com (http://www.web.com/), a company that creates and hosts websites for small businesses. If you want a professional-looking website for your company, we'll make one for you.

I am a member of the copywriting team. My job is to write engaging marketing-driven ad copy for the websites we produce. The sales team interviews the client (small business owners looking for a website) to gather information about their business -- what they do, what their service area is, why they're better than the competition, and things of that nature. My team is responsible for reworking that raw info into well-written sentences and paragraphs. Once the copy is written, we forward it to the design team so they can design the visual aspect of the website and plug our copy into it. From there, it's off to QC; if it passes QC, the site is published and a small business owner now has a new way to reach potential customers.

The job has its upsides and downsides. On the downside, writing creative copy for eight hours a day can get pretty mind-numbing at times. Like all writers, we get burned out and suffer from writer's block every now and then. We're also constantly pressured to maintain a certain level of productivity without sacrificing quality, a demand that isn't always reasonable considering the size and complexity of some of the sites we write.

On the upside, though? The pay is decent (not great, but I make enough to pay all my bills with a little bit left over for myself), the hours are flexible (as long as I work 8 hours throughout the course of the day, I can basically show up whenever I want to and leave whenever I want to), I get along well with my co-workers (there are some I like more than others, of course, but there's no one at the office that I actively dislike), and the work is rewarding (I'm actually doing something with my English degree! Woo-hoo!).

So, Foxkei, what do you do for a living?

[ReverendHobo]

Uh... I just got a job at Hastings. It's a "multimedia" store that sells movies, games, books, CDs, comics, etc.

I haven't started yet, so I can't really detail what the job is like.

[KomodoAce]

I'm a server assistant/busboy at the Peabody Hotel in Orlando.

I work at a restaurant called Napa, with a focus on wine and organic food. I make decent money and we depend on conventions for the majority of our business. Soon I'll be moving up to server.

I work the PM shift, mostly starting at 4:30 up to 11, when we close. Most of the time, I don't get out until 12.

The latest I've had to stay was until 2am. This usually happens when it's a very busy night.

Basically, my job involves watering and breading guests. I also clear tables and "flip" tables over, so they can be sat by the hostesses.

It's not the best job in the world, but I make decent money. I work with great people, albeit a bit dysfunctional, and for the most part, the guests aren't half bad.

Some bad things about the job include having a screwed up sleep schedule, occasionally dealing with douchebag guests, depending on a busy night to make money and almost always working holidays.

I have a few interesting stories to tell regarding the more troublesome guests that I'll post sometime here.

I'm also a person who believes in tipping at least 15%. I usually tip more since I see it as a way of getting positive karma for when I work.

Cash is always the best and I'm surprised at how many college graduates have chosen to wait on tables (career servers) as opposed to getting a job in their line of work.

I also have coworkers who were tired of their career and decided to become servers.

Famous people who I've waited on include Goldie Hawn (nice), the journalists Chris Hansen and John Roberts (very polite), the present Governor of Florida (polite), and numerous company ceos who aren't really famous unless you have investments in their companies.

[Grand_OoF]

I have recently been employed at a Customer Care center for First National Bank of Colorado (an affiliate with First National Bank of Omaha).

It's not my dream job, and certainly not what I went to school for, but as SnakeEyez said, it has both downs and ups. I like my co-workers (thus far), the pay is good ($12 an hour, 40 hours a week), good benefits (my insurance hasn't kicked in yet, but I get full coverage, as well as a 401K option), certain account benefits (no minimum deposit, free specialty checks, etc.), and to be honest it's pretty low stress in 8/10 instances. I mostly spend time reading or on the computer (and since Cracked.com and Foxkei aren't blocked, well, there ya go).

It's also about 10 minutes from my current residence, which is great for saving on gas and saving cash in general.

The only real downside is that remaining 2/10. Some customers are just jerks, or some situations are beyond my training and general understanding. But aside that, I certainly can't complain, especially considering how many people can't find a job to save their life right now.

[Heiae]

I don't have a job, but I go to Winthrop University full time as a creative writing major. It's not so much what I do for a living but what I'm doing with most of my life's time at the moment. Hahaha!

[ChukoLiang]

I used to work at Langston's (a western-themed retail store) in stockyards city, a district in oklahoma city that is entirely western themed.

The upsides:

MOST customers (all but 3) were at least decent, and an overwhelming majority at least knew SOMETHING about what they wanted.

I worked in the best department by far.

It was a job. That, you know, paid money.


The downsides:

The three customers who were absolutely horrible were of course repeat customers. Lemme talk about them real quick. The first was a guy who claimed to be the nephew of someone who worked elsewhere in the store. He was cockeyed BAD, and he was a complete asshole/professional dumbass who hit on quite literally every woman in the store. My department manager with a kid who's 18? Fair game to him. My 17-year-old bitch co-worker? Shit, why not? And he never ever ever bought anything from my department, ever. EVER.

Second customer from hell was the only one who ever complained about me. He was a complete pompous asshole.

The third customer was absolutely nuts. She kissed every single window to the store from the outside, was so fat she needed a wheelchair (no, I'm not kidding, her legs were functional but too weak to heft her massive BULK) and apparently she...uh...had sexual relations with a light post right across the street. I was confused as to why someone as obviously mentally fucked up as she was was allowed to wander through our store alone...

Honorable Mention customers: The israelis. Now I'm not gonna bash the entire nation, but these two would rack up a $500 bill at the least and then demand to not have to pay tax because they don't have to pay sales tax in THEIR country, why do it in ours? Yeahhhh....that's logical. They also came in every year, apparently.

Funny story about those two, the biggest whore I've ever had the displeasure of knowing at all worked as a cashier, which at Langston's means they get juggled from department to department daily. Fortunately she eventually switched to men's wear (by far the laziest department and the absolute stupidest on average) and I never had to put up with her dumb ass again. How is she stupid/a whore? Let us go through SOME of the things I use as evidence to judge her stupid ass:

1: She constantly, CONSTANTLY tried to play for sympathy to anyone who would listen because she was 20 with a kid. Oooh, wow. So sad. Except you never, ever shut up about it, I have family members who had kids younger than you who never slutted it up like you, and they also have universally better taste in men than you.

2: She was a complete whore for money. No, seriously. The aforementioned israelis had BIG cash, and she didn't realize it at first (because I guess dropping ONLY $750 on boots and assorted shit means you're poor?) They asked her to "join" them at their hotel, with obvious connotations there. She lied and said she had a boyfriend (which she didn't) because they were "creeps", which yes, they were creeps. Then Matt, a manager, started rambling about them and how they're loaded and her eyes widen. "They had MONEY? Damn, I shoulda gone out with them after all!"

By the way, normally I type in the vernacular when I imitate her dialogue. Just imagine the thickest, worst redneck/hick accent you can. Now imagine it 10X worse, somehow. That is how she talks.

3: Back to point 2, she also said things REGULARLY like "I wish I had a sugar daddy!"

Me: "...do you even know what that means...?"

Her: "Oh yeah! It's when a rich guy gives you money!"

Me: "Yeah....right...no sexual favors involved at all, nope...."

Her: "What's that?"

Me: "Nothing."

Her name was "DestAny", with an A, as she was so insistent on reminding us. Because I guess if you name your child a dumb, DUMB name AND spell it wrong, this is what happens, they turn out a stupid whore.

4: She constantly said things like "I don't have money to feed my son!" Next day, she comes in on her day off and buys a $75 ring (which is about as expensive as ours ever got from that brand) and brandishes her new clothes and bag and cigarettes. Like, what happened to needing FOOD money? Oh, and she also went to cattlemen's across the street right after (her son nowhere in sight) because hey, it's not like she couldn't afford a STEAKHOUSE or anything!

She is the living version of the fake marie antionette: "Let them eat steak" should be her catchphrase.

To put this in perspective, I went to high school in a town that has a reputation for especially loose women (the reverend can attest to the reputation and how well-deserved it is) and I had a class with a chick who BY HER OWN TESTIMONY banged a dude in a car after knowing him a whopping total of FIVE MINUTES beforehand, and this destAny chick from work is the biggest whore I've ever met. Oh yes, I am being perfectly honest. This shit is beyond ridiculous.

Oh, and she also brought her poor son who I give 80% odds grows up to be a criminal of some kind to work once just to garner up the needed sympathy. She had a creepy old employee hit on her all the time, it was bizarre. It seemed like he couldn't decide if he wanted to hit that or be a father figure...fuckin' weirdo. He was an alright guy otherwise, or at least, tolerable.

The final irritating thing she did I will list here is draw and make stupid shit. Like she made a flyswatter out of a piece of a cardboard box and half a roll of duct tape. And then wrote all over it about how whatever guy she was homing in on at the time was welcome to spank her with it. I am not making this up.

Or what about the "countdown to destAny's birthday!" calendar she made? Counting down the days to her 21st birthday? When she was going to get sooooo drunk? Wait, wasn't she talking about how she'd gotten SOOOOOO drunk the previous night? And the night before that? Why does she give a shit if she's 21 if she gets wasted damn near every night anyway?


Working at a western wear store you get an idea for the kind of people who shop there, both from experience and by the products being sold. When I first saw the "GIT R DONE" belt buckle, I died a little inside. Then I saw the second model. And the third. And I wondered who would buy that? It was my job, working as a salesman, to sell this...complete garbage to people. I learned there are a few customer types:

1: The complete douchebag. This customer knows what they want and if you don't give it to them for the price they're willing to pay they FLIP SHIT. For example, we sold a bunch of different shirt brands. One of which was the "George Strait" line by Wrangler. These were all pretty expensive (cheapest was like $35 a shirt) but they did vary in price, because they weren't the EXACT same shirt. So this guy (the aforementioned dick who tried to get me in trouble intentionally) was like "So this shirt's $35 and this shirt's $45. I want this $45 shirt for $35 and you should make that happen because it's the same damn shirt."
Cashier says: "uh, well, uh, sir, I can't, uh..."
Douchebag: "WHY NOT?"
Cashier: "Because, uh, I'm not a manager, and uh, it's older, and uh..."
Me, trying to bail him out (he was cool) : "Well, sir, that $35 shirt is a different dye and completely different style, so it would make sense it would be chea-"
Douchebag, now moved from six feet from me to three inches from my face, and clearly trying to be intimidating: "YOU'RE PISSIN' ME OFF, BOY. YOU SHOULDN'T PISS OFF YOUR CUSTOMERS. THAT'S JUST BAD POLICY."

2: The annoying brat. Ranging from kids who break stuff and then act like it's not a problem at all (that $40 statue wasn't worth anything, and glue can fix it, right?) to the little girl who told her dad outright she's "worth it" when she asked for a $45 necklace. Really, kid? Really? The worst part of the job arguably was NOT telling these people that they were fucking ridiculous.

3: The "Bash it because I can't afford it" customer. "That belt buckle looks like shit. *points at our most expensive one.*" *pause.* "That one looks okay though. *points to $15 crumrine buckle. Or was it crumline? Fuck if I know.*" Yeah, man, I totally don't get that you can't afford the good one so you're trying to settle for the cheap shitty knockoff. It's cool, I only work here, you're not insulting my intelligence or anything.

4: The "Has to know everything about everything" customer. Hey, pop quiz time. When you go to a retail store, which of these is most likely?
A: The employees all know everything about every product in the store.
Or B: They're probably going to know most important facts about the department they work in and have a vague idea of everything else, especially when they've only been on the job a month juggling school with it, and you will only look like a complete douchebag when you DEMAND to know the percentage of silver in a belt buckle.

If you guessed "A", I hate you.

5: Somewhat related to 4, the "doesn't believe a damn word you say" customer. Look, I prided myself on honesty, okay? So when people asked "Is this belt buckle pure silver?" I would say "No, because I am told a sterling silver through and through belt buckle would run over $1000.00" Then they look at me like I'm dumb and look at the buckle. They look all over it, like that'll somehow have the answer THEY believe, that I'M full of shit and it's the ONE belt buckle we have that is PURE SILVER and is somehow only $30. (By the way, in western wear, a $30 belt buckle is nothing. We had some that were $150, and again, none of them were as fancy as some can get.)

Well. As you can see, the good things are nowhere near as 'fun' to talk about as the terrible shit. I have so much more I could rant about but pokemon calls, so...

[ReverendHobo]

the journalists Chris Hansen and John Roberts (very polite)

Finally someone got to ask Chris Hansen to have a seat over there.

[Umbrae]

Lemme talk about them real quick. The first was a guy who claimed to be the nephew of someone who worked elsewhere in the store. He was cockeyed BAD, and he was a complete asshole/professional dumbass who hit on quite literally every woman in the store. My department manager with a kid who's 18? Fair game to him. My 17-year-old bitch co-worker? Shit, why not? And he never ever ever bought anything from my department, ever. EVER.

Second customer from hell was the only one who ever complained about me. He was a complete pompous asshole.

The third customer was absolutely nuts. She kissed every single window to the store from the outside, was so fat she needed a wheelchair (no, I'm not kidding, her legs were functional but too weak to heft her massive BULK) and apparently she...uh...had sexual relations with a light post right across the street. I was confused as to why someone as obviously mentally fucked up as she was was allowed to wander through our store alone...

Honorable Mention customers: The israelis. Now I'm not gonna bash the entire nation, but these two would rack up a $500 bill at the least and then demand to not have to pay tax because they don't have to pay sales tax in THEIR country, why do it in ours? Yeahhhh....that's logical. They also came in every year, apparently.

Funny story about those two, the biggest whore I've ever had the displeasure of knowing at all worked as a cashier, which at Langston's means they get juggled from department to department daily. Fortunately she eventually switched to men's wear (by far the laziest department and the absolute stupidest on average) and I never had to put up with her dumb ass again. How is she stupid/a whore? Let us go through SOME of the things I use as evidence to judge her stupid ass:

1: She constantly, CONSTANTLY tried to play for sympathy to anyone who would listen because she was 20 with a kid. Oooh, wow. So sad. Except you never, ever shut up about it, I have family members who had kids younger than you who never slutted it up like you, and they also have universally better taste in men than you.

2: She was a complete whore for money. No, seriously. The aforementioned israelis had BIG cash, and she didn't realize it at first (because I guess dropping ONLY $750 on boots and assorted shit means you're poor?) They asked her to "join" them at their hotel, with obvious connotations there. She lied and said she had a boyfriend (which she didn't) because they were "creeps", which yes, they were creeps. Then Matt, a manager, started rambling about them and how they're loaded and her eyes widen. "They had MONEY? Damn, I shoulda gone out with them after all!"

By the way, normally I type in the vernacular when I imitate her dialogue. Just imagine the thickest, worst redneck/hick accent you can. Now imagine it 10X worse, somehow. That is how she talks.

3: Back to point 2, she also said things REGULARLY like "I wish I had a sugar daddy!"

Me: "...do you even know what that means...?"

Her: "Oh yeah! It's when a rich guy gives you money!"

Me: "Yeah....right...no sexual favors involved at all, nope...."

Her: "What's that?"

Me: "Nothing."

Her name was "DestAny", with an A, as she was so insistent on reminding us. Because I guess if you name your child a dumb, DUMB name AND spell it wrong, this is what happens, they turn out a stupid whore.

4: She constantly said things like "I don't have money to feed my son!" Next day, she comes in on her day off and buys a $75 ring (which is about as expensive as ours ever got from that brand) and brandishes her new clothes and bag and cigarettes. Like, what happened to needing FOOD money? Oh, and she also went to cattlemen's across the street right after (her son nowhere in sight) because hey, it's not like she couldn't afford a STEAKHOUSE or anything!

She is the living version of the fake marie antionette: "Let them eat steak" should be her catchphrase.

To put this in perspective, I went to high school in a town that has a reputation for especially loose women (the reverend can attest to the reputation and how well-deserved it is) and I had a class with a chick who BY HER OWN TESTIMONY banged a dude in a car after knowing him a whopping total of FIVE MINUTES beforehand, and this destAny chick from work is the biggest whore I've ever met. Oh yes, I am being perfectly honest. This shit is beyond ridiculous.

Oh, and she also brought her poor son who I give 80% odds grows up to be a criminal of some kind to work once just to garner up the needed sympathy. She had a creepy old employee hit on her all the time, it was bizarre. It seemed like he couldn't decide if he wanted to hit that or be a father figure...fuckin' weirdo. He was an alright guy otherwise, or at least, tolerable.

The final irritating thing she did I will list here is draw and make stupid shit. Like she made a flyswatter out of a piece of a cardboard box and half a roll of duct tape. And then wrote all over it about how whatever guy she was homing in on at the time was welcome to spank her with it. I am not making this up.

Or what about the "countdown to destAny's birthday!" calendar she made? Counting down the days to her 21st birthday? When she was going to get sooooo drunk? Wait, wasn't she talking about how she'd gotten SOOOOOO drunk the previous night? And the night before that? Why does she give a shit if she's 21 if she gets wasted damn near every night anyway?


Working at a western wear store you get an idea for the kind of people who shop there, both from experience and by the products being sold. When I first saw the "GIT R DONE" belt buckle, I died a little inside. Then I saw the second model. And the third. And I wondered who would buy that? It was my job, working as a salesman, to sell this...complete garbage to people. I learned there are a few customer types:

1: The complete douchebag. This customer knows what they want and if you don't give it to them for the price they're willing to pay they FLIP SHIT. For example, we sold a bunch of different shirt brands. One of which was the "George Strait" line by Wrangler. These were all pretty expensive (cheapest was like $35 a shirt) but they did vary in price, because they weren't the EXACT same shirt. So this guy (the aforementioned dick who tried to get me in trouble intentionally) was like "So this shirt's $35 and this shirt's $45. I want this $45 shirt for $35 and you should make that happen because it's the same damn shirt."
Cashier says: "uh, well, uh, sir, I can't, uh..."
Douchebag: "WHY NOT?"
Cashier: "Because, uh, I'm not a manager, and uh, it's older, and uh..."
Me, trying to bail him out (he was cool) : "Well, sir, that $35 shirt is a different dye and completely different style, so it would make sense it would be chea-"
Douchebag, now moved from six feet from me to three inches from my face, and clearly trying to be intimidating: "YOU'RE PISSIN' ME OFF, BOY. YOU SHOULDN'T PISS OFF YOUR CUSTOMERS. THAT'S JUST BAD POLICY."

2: The annoying brat. Ranging from kids who break stuff and then act like it's not a problem at all (that $40 statue wasn't worth anything, and glue can fix it, right?) to the little girl who told her dad outright she's "worth it" when she asked for a $45 necklace. Really, kid? Really? The worst part of the job arguably was NOT telling these people that they were fucking ridiculous.

3: The "Bash it because I can't afford it" customer. "That belt buckle looks like shit. *points at our most expensive one.*" *pause.* "That one looks okay though. *points to $15 crumrine buckle. Or was it crumline? Fuck if I know.*" Yeah, man, I totally don't get that you can't afford the good one so you're trying to settle for the cheap shitty knockoff. It's cool, I only work here, you're not insulting my intelligence or anything.

4: The "Has to know everything about everything" customer. Hey, pop quiz time. When you go to a retail store, which of these is most likely?
A: The employees all know everything about every product in the store.
Or B: They're probably going to know most important facts about the department they work in and have a vague idea of everything else, especially when they've only been on the job a month juggling school with it, and you will only look like a complete douchebag when you DEMAND to know the percentage of silver in a belt buckle.

If you guessed "A", I hate you.

5: Somewhat related to 4, the "doesn't believe a damn word you say" customer. Look, I prided myself on honesty, okay? So when people asked "Is this belt buckle pure silver?" I would say "No, because I am told a sterling silver through and through belt buckle would run over $1000.00" Then they look at me like I'm dumb and look at the buckle. They look all over it, like that'll somehow have the answer THEY believe, that I'M full of shit and it's the ONE belt buckle we have that is PURE SILVER and is somehow only $30. (By the way, in western wear, a $30 belt buckle is nothing. We had some that were $150, and again, none of them were as fancy as some can get.)

Well. As you can see, the good things are nowhere near as 'fun' to talk about as the terrible shit. I have so much more I could rant about but pokemon calls, so...

I think you're confused about the word "quick". ;)


I am a full-time student at San Francisco State University (biology major) and I'm currently working part-time at Starbucks.

I like my job. My co-workers are nice and my managers are cool. Good pay plus tips. I also get full benefits and 401K as well as Starbucks stocks even though I'm only part-time.

Downside is that I'm not fully trained yet and I can't make most of the hot drinks without assistance. But I'm sure after a couple of months, I'll be okay.

[SnakeEyez]

I used to work at Langston's (a western-themed retail store) in stockyards city, a district in oklahoma city that is entirely western themed.

The upsides:

MOST customers (all but 3) were at least decent, and an overwhelming majority at least knew SOMETHING about what they wanted.

I worked in the best department by far.

It was a job. That, you know, paid money.


The downsides:

The three customers who were absolutely horrible were of course repeat customers. Lemme talk about them real quick. The first was a guy who claimed to be the nephew of someone who worked elsewhere in the store. He was cockeyed BAD, and he was a complete asshole/professional dumbass who hit on quite literally every woman in the store. My department manager with a kid who's 18? Fair game to him. My 17-year-old bitch co-worker? Shit, why not? And he never ever ever bought anything from my department, ever. EVER.

Second customer from hell was the only one who ever complained about me. He was a complete pompous asshole.

The third customer was absolutely nuts. She kissed every single window to the store from the outside, was so fat she needed a wheelchair (no, I'm not kidding, her legs were functional but too weak to heft her massive BULK) and apparently she...uh...had sexual relations with a light post right across the street. I was confused as to why someone as obviously mentally fucked up as she was was allowed to wander through our store alone...

Honorable Mention customers: The israelis. Now I'm not gonna bash the entire nation, but these two would rack up a $500 bill at the least and then demand to not have to pay tax because they don't have to pay sales tax in THEIR country, why do it in ours? Yeahhhh....that's logical. They also came in every year, apparently.

Funny story about those two, the biggest whore I've ever had the displeasure of knowing at all worked as a cashier, which at Langston's means they get juggled from department to department daily. Fortunately she eventually switched to men's wear (by far the laziest department and the absolute stupidest on average) and I never had to put up with her dumb ass again. How is she stupid/a whore? Let us go through SOME of the things I use as evidence to judge her stupid ass:

1: She constantly, CONSTANTLY tried to play for sympathy to anyone who would listen because she was 20 with a kid. Oooh, wow. So sad. Except you never, ever shut up about it, I have family members who had kids younger than you who never slutted it up like you, and they also have universally better taste in men than you.

2: She was a complete whore for money. No, seriously. The aforementioned israelis had BIG cash, and she didn't realize it at first (because I guess dropping ONLY $750 on boots and assorted shit means you're poor?) They asked her to "join" them at their hotel, with obvious connotations there. She lied and said she had a boyfriend (which she didn't) because they were "creeps", which yes, they were creeps. Then Matt, a manager, started rambling about them and how they're loaded and her eyes widen. "They had MONEY? Damn, I shoulda gone out with them after all!"

By the way, normally I type in the vernacular when I imitate her dialogue. Just imagine the thickest, worst redneck/hick accent you can. Now imagine it 10X worse, somehow. That is how she talks.

3: Back to point 2, she also said things REGULARLY like "I wish I had a sugar daddy!"

Me: "...do you even know what that means...?"

Her: "Oh yeah! It's when a rich guy gives you money!"

Me: "Yeah....right...no sexual favors involved at all, nope...."

Her: "What's that?"

Me: "Nothing."

Her name was "DestAny", with an A, as she was so insistent on reminding us. Because I guess if you name your child a dumb, DUMB name AND spell it wrong, this is what happens, they turn out a stupid whore.

4: She constantly said things like "I don't have money to feed my son!" Next day, she comes in on her day off and buys a $75 ring (which is about as expensive as ours ever got from that brand) and brandishes her new clothes and bag and cigarettes. Like, what happened to needing FOOD money? Oh, and she also went to cattlemen's across the street right after (her son nowhere in sight) because hey, it's not like she couldn't afford a STEAKHOUSE or anything!

She is the living version of the fake marie antionette: "Let them eat steak" should be her catchphrase.

To put this in perspective, I went to high school in a town that has a reputation for especially loose women (the reverend can attest to the reputation and how well-deserved it is) and I had a class with a chick who BY HER OWN TESTIMONY banged a dude in a car after knowing him a whopping total of FIVE MINUTES beforehand, and this destAny chick from work is the biggest whore I've ever met. Oh yes, I am being perfectly honest. This shit is beyond ridiculous.

Oh, and she also brought her poor son who I give 80% odds grows up to be a criminal of some kind to work once just to garner up the needed sympathy. She had a creepy old employee hit on her all the time, it was bizarre. It seemed like he couldn't decide if he wanted to hit that or be a father figure...fuckin' weirdo. He was an alright guy otherwise, or at least, tolerable.

The final irritating thing she did I will list here is draw and make stupid shit. Like she made a flyswatter out of a piece of a cardboard box and half a roll of duct tape. And then wrote all over it about how whatever guy she was homing in on at the time was welcome to spank her with it. I am not making this up.

Or what about the "countdown to destAny's birthday!" calendar she made? Counting down the days to her 21st birthday? When she was going to get sooooo drunk? Wait, wasn't she talking about how she'd gotten SOOOOOO drunk the previous night? And the night before that? Why does she give a shit if she's 21 if she gets wasted damn near every night anyway?


Working at a western wear store you get an idea for the kind of people who shop there, both from experience and by the products being sold. When I first saw the "GIT R DONE" belt buckle, I died a little inside. Then I saw the second model. And the third. And I wondered who would buy that? It was my job, working as a salesman, to sell this...complete garbage to people. I learned there are a few customer types:

1: The complete douchebag. This customer knows what they want and if you don't give it to them for the price they're willing to pay they FLIP SHIT. For example, we sold a bunch of different shirt brands. One of which was the "George Strait" line by Wrangler. These were all pretty expensive (cheapest was like $35 a shirt) but they did vary in price, because they weren't the EXACT same shirt. So this guy (the aforementioned dick who tried to get me in trouble intentionally) was like "So this shirt's $35 and this shirt's $45. I want this $45 shirt for $35 and you should make that happen because it's the same damn shirt."
Cashier says: "uh, well, uh, sir, I can't, uh..."
Douchebag: "WHY NOT?"
Cashier: "Because, uh, I'm not a manager, and uh, it's older, and uh..."
Me, trying to bail him out (he was cool) : "Well, sir, that $35 shirt is a different dye and completely different style, so it would make sense it would be chea-"
Douchebag, now moved from six feet from me to three inches from my face, and clearly trying to be intimidating: "YOU'RE PISSIN' ME OFF, BOY. YOU SHOULDN'T PISS OFF YOUR CUSTOMERS. THAT'S JUST BAD POLICY."

2: The annoying brat. Ranging from kids who break stuff and then act like it's not a problem at all (that $40 statue wasn't worth anything, and glue can fix it, right?) to the little girl who told her dad outright she's "worth it" when she asked for a $45 necklace. Really, kid? Really? The worst part of the job arguably was NOT telling these people that they were fucking ridiculous.

3: The "Bash it because I can't afford it" customer. "That belt buckle looks like shit. *points at our most expensive one.*" *pause.* "That one looks okay though. *points to $15 crumrine buckle. Or was it crumline? Fuck if I know.*" Yeah, man, I totally don't get that you can't afford the good one so you're trying to settle for the cheap shitty knockoff. It's cool, I only work here, you're not insulting my intelligence or anything.

4: The "Has to know everything about everything" customer. Hey, pop quiz time. When you go to a retail store, which of these is most likely?
A: The employees all know everything about every product in the store.
Or B: They're probably going to know most important facts about the department they work in and have a vague idea of everything else, especially when they've only been on the job a month juggling school with it, and you will only look like a complete douchebag when you DEMAND to know the percentage of silver in a belt buckle.

If you guessed "A", I hate you.

5: Somewhat related to 4, the "doesn't believe a damn word you say" customer. Look, I prided myself on honesty, okay? So when people asked "Is this belt buckle pure silver?" I would say "No, because I am told a sterling silver through and through belt buckle would run over $1000.00" Then they look at me like I'm dumb and look at the buckle. They look all over it, like that'll somehow have the answer THEY believe, that I'M full of shit and it's the ONE belt buckle we have that is PURE SILVER and is somehow only $30. (By the way, in western wear, a $30 belt buckle is nothing. We had some that were $150, and again, none of them were as fancy as some can get.)

Well. As you can see, the good things are nowhere near as 'fun' to talk about as the terrible shit. I have so much more I could rant about but pokemon calls, so...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v512/SnakeEyez8/Gu-HUH.jpg

[AlucardsFate]

You'll have to forgive him guys. He's new to retail, so he hasn't had a chance to get used to it. But PSM, every retail job is like that get used to it now to save yourself from aneurysms later. The stress isn't worth it. This is the voice of a veteran of the retail wars talking. But that brings me into, "What do I do?" Well:

I work at the Denver, CO Micro Center, an electronics retailer that primarily deals in computer tech. (We sell TV's and games but not on a huge scale) It is notable as being the very last dedicated parts n' pieces computer retailer in the state since my former employer CompUSA folded.

http://www.microcenter.com/at_the_stores/denver.html
(That picture is very old, the building is hardly white anymore....)

What do I do specifically? My official title is "Remote Distribution Center Lead." Which pretty much means that I am a warehouse associate who gets paid more to have a couple of extra job functions. Most of our store product comes on normal 28 skid trucks prepared by the Distribution Center in Columbus, Ohio, however some product (usually things going on some kind of special sale, or hot street dated items, high demand things like Macs etc) doesn't have time to be sent from the manufacturer, to our DC, to the stores. It would take too long. So the DC orders them for the DC but they are sent directly to the store from the manufacturer. I (In a very technical sense) work for the DC (I'm even listed as working in OH) am given special logins to remotely log into the DC's inventory system and receive these items there, and then transfer them to Denver. (All in phantom computer numbers)

I also typically handle the normal drop shipped receiving boxes, like if you ordered something yourself, those kinds of small boxes. Typically games, Apple items and magazines arrive this way. I also maintain the unusually large magazine dept as a result. (It's seriously like a friggin newsstand.) Which I don't mind, it's my sanity project. I can meticulously maintain it like my own personal zen-garden. (Ask anyone how anal I am about the magazines) It's good to have a sanity project.

If you'll allow me to toot my own horn for a minute, I also am widely known to be the store bloodhound. "If James can't find it, it probably doesn't exist" is something that most people will admit. This also means I am an ace at pulling online orders with great efficiency. Most people will tell you the warehouse is a group of assholes as well...except for me. (And Jared) They aren't so bad except for one, I actually like em. The front end loves me and I have no idea why. Apparently I'm a really nice guy. The girls up there treat me like a little brother.

The only outright frustration with my job? My warehouse cohorts poor taste in music. I swear I hear most of Ke$ha's library every day. Most of them are the type who listen to whatever the radio tells them is good. (I.E. The flavor of the week) The weird thing is...while they listen to Ke$ha and Katy Perry, they complain about my music. (I always have my headphones on) The Donnas aren't legendary or anything, but at least they play instruments. And who hates the Foo Fighters?

That's about what I do. I do take on additional tasks as needed...for people I like. (I play favorites like a bastard) But if you ever come looking for me, ask for "Warehouse James." Otherwise you'll get the sales floor James, who is a great guy so if you wanna talk to him instead I'll totally understand. How's that?

[ChukoLiang]

I think you're confused about the word "quick". ;)

I intended it to be quick. It wasn't, though...oh well.

Also, Alucards, I am hoping IF I work another retail job it'll be for a product I have some familiarity with (like, say, video games).

[AlucardsFate]

Familiarity is nice, but the crap never changes.

[Robobvious]

I work at a Bakery about ten minutes away from my house, walking. It's not bad, I make sandwiches, croissants, bread dough and cake batters, and I get to run the cash register and use a deli slicer (Ever since I was a little kid I wanted to use a deli slicer, so that's rad). Also I'm friends with the owner's family, and almost everyone who works there is awesome, so we have fun at work. Just today me and a coworker were discussing the social behavior of Chimpanzees because he's reading one of Carl Sagan's books right now.

Work is pretty easy 95% of the time, every once in awhile we're crazy busy though and I'm all over the place running between the sandwich board and the kitchen. But on a normal day, I usually get a five hour shift to come in at 2pm and basically do whatever we need to get done. I usually come in fifteen minutes early for my shift 'cause it makes the boss happy. I try to do prep work for the sandwich board and make any fresh batters by 4:30, then I do croissants for about an hour and a half and start getting ready to close. We've got a pretty good system for closing now so I'm usually out fifteen minutes after our official closing time.

But uh, yeah, it's awesome, I like working with my friends, the rad metaphysical discussions we have, living so close to where I work, eating my work at the end of the day, etc. I don't know what else to say on the matter, so if anyone wants to know more about it feel free to ask.

Oh, and I did a semester at Bunker Hill Comm. College for Video Game Design but then I never returned the following year. I didn't really like the school or enjoy my time there so for now I'm just doing the Bakery thing, figuring out where I want to go from here.

[ReverendHobo]

I just did my orientation for Hastings.

I'm pretty positive about this job. I like everyone I've met so far, the work seems to be the kind of stuff I like, and the environment is really friendly.

[ChukoLiang]

I just did my orientation for Hastings.

I'm pretty positive about this job. I like everyone I've met so far, the work seems to be the kind of stuff I like, and the environment is really friendly.

Which hastings is it, if I may ask?

[ReverendHobo]

Today was my first day at Hastings.

It went pretty well, except for one bizarre moment, which I detailed in Everything Else.

EDIT: Oh, and I think I've already found the worst part of this job.
I handled dozens of copies of "The Zookeeper" and I didn't get to destroy a single one.

[ChukoLiang]

what is "The zookeeper"? I would assume the stephanie (oscar) meyeyeyerrrrr stuff and its ilk would be the worst possible thing to have to deal with.

[ReverendHobo]

A Kevin James movie with talking animals.

[ChukoLiang]

Is it worse than dealing in vamp-porn?

[Grand_OoF]

Is it worse than dealing in vamp-porn?

Significantly

Vamp porn might at least be unintentionally hillarious. This movie tries to be hillarious and is the exact painful opposite.

[ReverendHobo]

Exactly that. It's a miserable abortion of comedy.

[AlucardsFate]

Wait...why do we all know so much about vampire porn? And are there special vampire moves in them? Things involving teeth?

[GlassAdam]

I work 2 jobs, 7 days a week.

Job 1 is part-time-- working in a grocery store. I've been doing it for almost 10 years and understand everything all of you on this forum who work in retail have been saying about retail work ever since this place started. EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN should be forced to work retail at least once in their lives. We'd all be a lot nicer to each other! On the other had, I pride myself on being able to get along with pretty much anyone, and I've been able to hone this useful skill over the course of my years at the store.

Job 2 is my fun job-- I work full-time in a distribution center for a national retailer. I strip trailers all day and ride a forklift for much of it. The hours are a little rough but go by pretty fast. And the people are really cool.

Never thought I'd be a two-jobs kinda guy (I was a huge slacker and a sleep-til-2pm sort of person) but I am now and it is what it is. Stay in school folks! Gotta get that money right!

[AlucardsFate]

Adam is a retail warrior as well eh? I used to work in a grocery store. What part do you work in?

...oh and be nice to your Customer Service people, their job is horrible. Believe me...I know.

[ReverendHobo]

Ugh, I had a pretty bad day today.

It all went downhill at the very last moment, too.

I was supposed to get off at 6, but halfway through my shift I got a call from a guy who said that he was gonna have to cover for the guy who worked after me and asked if I could stick around for a little while longer until he got there. I asked how much longer, and he said 37 minutes (Which is an oddly specific number...) so I agreed.

After 6 had rolled around, the General Manager of the store discovered some opened packaging in my area. Apparently some shitheads stole stuff while I was working on CD labels. He gave me a lecture about being more observant, which I admit I had coming as I got tunnel vision working on the CDs.

That pisses me off for three reasons:
1. Shit got taken on my watch.
2. I wasn't even supposed to be there at that time.
and 3. I pretty much know who did it. There was a group of teenagers who came in and wandered around my area for a while, and on one occasion I saw one of them standing at the end of a shelf staring at me. I found this odd, and wondered what the fuck he was doing just standing there, but it didn't even occur to me at the time that he was probably a lookout for his fuckhead friends (Also, apparently fuckhead is a word, mozilla isn't flagging it as misspelled).

So that sucked.

Oh, and it was 7:20 by the time the guy who called showed up, I forgot my check before I left, and when I called back to see if it was even ready I got sassed by the GM, who's passive-aggressive as hell.

My day was perfectly fine up until all that, though...

[ChukoLiang]

...Do you need to change your username to "ReverendWorkingMan"? I dunno, I just thought about that.

[Hero_X]

I work for United Front Games as an IT Administrator.

[ChukoLiang]

I work for United Front Games as an IT Administrator.

Speaking of, what is UFG up to that we're allowed to know about right now? ModNation Racers kicked all kinds of ass, I'm at the absolute least interested in anything else the company has their hands on.

[Phoenixx]

After 15 years in food service, I finally have a desk job...I work with a property management company that manages 500+ apartments around Ohio..I'm the administrative assistant (aka the "office bitch") but that is ok because I make more than I had at my past jobs, don't have a fraction of the stress load, I'm home at night and have weekends off, I get full benefits (not the greatest but better than nothing), paid holidays off, paid time off, vacation, etc. so I really like it:) Plus, the accountant is stepping down around the same time I graduate, so (fingers crossed) I'll have that opportunity in June..If not, it's all good cause like I said, I am happy where I'm at..

I also sell Avon on the side..I started doing that to help a friend out a few months ago, but it actually turned out to be quite profitable for me (and I got discounted prices on stuff I used anyways) so if any of you all need to order something special for the special ladies in your life, I can send you my online store website, you can order direct shipping from me:) just saying..Also working with Avon, I got into a group that does charity quarter raffles with our local Fraternal Order of Eagles. We do really well with that and we help great causes, this month we are donating all of our charity to a 6th grade boy (my daughter actually knows him) who is fighting leukemia (spelling??) and his dad is struggling to pay bills..So this cause is extremely personal to me.

And I am an assistant cheer coach, although that is an unpaid position and a lot of headache. I do it mostly so that my daughters don't get treated like shit..and they don't now:)

[Umbrae]

^ That's great. Very kind of you guys to have this donation system. Good for you guys.

[Phoenixx]

Thank you:) Our goal is to raise $2,500..We've already got over $1,000 cash donated..that's not including the butt ton of items we're auctioning off (one being a 42" LCD tv..can't remember what brand). Another group at a nearby town did something similar and raised almost $5,000 for their cause, but we'll beat that because we have a larger crowd..and they have me;) mwah ha ha

[Grand_OoF]

So, just as a heads up, if you ever tell someone they have to set-up a password for an online account, and they have to use a capital letter when they previously didn't, then you are SCUM. As I've learned at work over the last two days.

[Hero_X]

Speaking of, what is UFG up to that we're allowed to know about right now? ModNation Racers kicked all kinds of ass, I'm at the absolute least interested in anything else the company has their hands on.

This is all I can say.

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/36132/Square_Enix_Nabs_Rights_To_True_Crime_Hong_Kong_Fr om_Activision.php

[Phoenixx]

So, just as a heads up, if you ever tell someone they have to set-up a password for an online account, and they have to use a capital letter when they previously didn't, then you are SCUM. As I've learned at work over the last two days.

Wow, scum huh? Kinda harsh isn't it?
BTW-Don't know you on a personal level, but I am sure you're not scum..

[ChukoLiang]

This is all I can say.

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/36132/Square_Enix_Nabs_Rights_To_True_Crime_Hong_Kong_Fr om_Activision.php

I'm on board. Only played the first game, nowhere to go but up, really. Eh, that's a bit harsh, the first game was okay. Not great, not terrible. Still. Good luck and stuff, man.